October 28, 2011 by travelingsole
read at your own risk, it is a blog…
Why is that God made girls so emotional? Do you ever just cry? There may be a reason or there may not but you just cry? I think I have a bottle inside me that overflows sometimes because sometimes I just cry. It’s exhausting. I am homesick and I don’t want to leave Bangladesh at the same time. I’ve talked about conflicting emotions before. Well, they have to be possible because I have them right now.
I had the most incredibly fun day then tonight… I was messaging one of my best friends and it hit me that I really miss home. I miss my mom and dad and brothers and sister. My baby sister is turning 18 tomorrow. I miss hugging my friends and sitting and chatting for hours. I miss getting in my car and driving to the coffee shop. Strangely, I don’t miss Walmart. 🙂 I miss working at my desk. I am an independent person and I rarely feel homesickness. But when I do I cry. But it doesn’t make sense because I love it here and I don’t want to leave. I feel fulfilled. I’m happy. Why do I cry?
When I ask myself what I really want… I don’t know. That must be another girl thing. I desire so many things (not things as in possessions) that I don’t know what I really want. Is life just easier for guys? It has to be because they aren’t so “emotionally unstable”.
Writing is also a release. Or talking but writing is probably better. If I can get it all out on paper (or the screen), I can look at the “problem” from a broader perspective. It makes things a little more clear and the issue somehow becomes smaller.
A Release of Feeling. Pressure. Emotion. That’s what crying is for me.
Still loving my life,
If life on earth were perfect would we ever be homesick for heaven.